An 18 year, pretty girl, fond of all the nice things of life, was living life with its full potential.
But, since few days the things were quite unusual for her. Slowly emaciating body was giving her some ominous signals. Though her appetite was high, she was becoming skinny. Her chubby cheeks were now left with only a thin layer of skin. This undesirable physical change was really painful experience for her. “You have diabetes” the Doctor declared. Before knowing what exactly Diabetes is, liters of blood were draculated from her veins in the name of routine blood tests. Soon, her lean body was haunted with Pneumonia. The cataract snatched the rays from her life. She was annoyed with the everlasting fever, chest pain, cough, daily blood tests, insulin pinches & annoying antibiotics.
“Why is this happening with me? What’s my fault?” No one ever bothered answering her. She had always thought that she would escape this, but at last, she lost her hope.
A blind, disabled & depressed girl, but who cares? No one was ready to share her feelings, being friend was far distant.
As a doctor I had lost the battle on every front. I used to round the ward as if I was fulfilling the so called Doctors duty. Literally I was a calculator while managing her blood sugar levels. My only focus was her Fasting sugars, her post-prandial, pre-dinner sugars & temperature. I considered her a machine, as if I was commanding her to regulate her own diet, eat this, do this, don’t do that. I was pretending that I was most concerned with her sugars, even than herself. I treated her reports rather than treating her, the very human being. I completely ignored her physical & mental sufferings.
It was a very depressing experience for me. The feeling of ‘my medicines-not working’ was hurting my ego. I was losing my confidence. “What to do with this girl?” was my constant feeling. Then, a thought came-
“What if I was in place of this girl. Me, a blind, skinny, ever febrile, irritated with cough & continuous chest pains & more irritated with pricking needles-some stranger pricking me, someone sucking my blood & someone so called ‘Sane’ giving me lectures about my own well-being, I don’t have any friends in this strange place-the hospital. Me- all alone with blurred vision & dreams. I don’t want anything else; I want someone to have warm talk. I don’t want this hospital ward; I want to go home, want to breathe fresh air. I don’t want the pretending doctor; I want someone who really cares for me.”
I remembered some lines from “Love, Medicine and Miracles”-For most of the patients only medicines are inadequate; they need Love, Care & Friendship-being the most powerful motivation.
Yesterday, for the first time I spoke with her as a friend, she told me about her home, her school things, her friends, the river flowing from her village and many such things. She told “I want to listen music”-I felt I won the battle.
A definition of Doctor that I love- Doctor is one who cares sometimes, relieves often and comforts always. Instead of being a highly educated, knowledgeable, but Mechanical Doctor, I would prefer being a Comfortable Friend.
Article by: Sagar Kabra
Sagar was a doctor, pursuing DNB Family medicine at JSS. A beautiful soul, always cheerful, extremely simple and down to earth. He wrote stories and poems and could sing a song with any word you give him. He talked to the patients with empathy to hear their stories, sought to understand health and justice at the deepest level and was committed for a lifetime to serve the poor. He died in a motorcycle accident on 8th May 2016. We lost him in body and actions but he still lives in us through his spirit, ideas, memories and writings like this.
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Jan Swasthya Sahyog (JSS) was established in 2000 by a group of socially conscious health and allied professionals, many of whom underwent training together at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences, New Delhi. Not satisfied with a techno-centric, hospital-based vision of tertiary healthcare, the group decided to base itself in a rural area and evolve a people-centric, community-based model of primary healthcare. The empowerment of village communities to prevent and treat illness has been central to the work of JSS.
Working in rural India in collaboration with the poor as well as with governments and voluntary organizations, Jan Swasthya Sahyog strives to be part of the solution to the vast unaddressed problems of Rural Health.